The Comfort Zone

It is now my ninth night in Buenos Aires. I have been tango dancing most evenings and I love it and I hate it. The music is beautiful, but so unfamiliar to me. It's a dance that is so close and so personal. But I can't do it. Well, maybe I can, but I don't. I've really enjoyed all of the evenings I've been to. It's great watching people dance, and I'm letting the atmosphere soak in to me. But I'm not really dancing. I'll do the classes, and maybe afterwards find someone from the class who I'm comfortable dancing with. But asking one of the locals to dance is a bridge too far for me. I have done it. Sunday night, I asked two girls to dance. I only meant to ask one, but I caught the other's eye by accident and overcommited myself. Both of these dances were terrible. I was stumbling everywhere. She was stumbling everywhere, because of me. One of the ladies even sucked audibly through her teeth at one moment - and I'm still completely unaware of what I did wrong at that moment. Neither lady stuck around for another dance, as is the custom here.

I've returned to my comfort zone by going to Swing Dancing a couple of times. There's a really good scene here, quite international and very friendly. They've made me feel very welcome. Both nights we've gone out for food after dancing and so I've got to know everyone a bit better. And I've been introduced to the concept of kissing everyone on the cheek, man and woman alike. This is both when you meet them, and when you say good night. Because of this custom, saying good bye is inevitably a long-winded affair, especially in a big group, but it really does aid bonding. It's a custom I like - but not one to be brought back to the UK.

It's not only the tango where I'm struggling. The language is also difficult for me. I can manage to talk and to make myself understood. However, if the reply is not a stock answer (preferably "si" or "no") I find it really hard to get the meaning. I've tried to have conversations with people, but we inevitably had to resort to English, sign language, or simply "ciao". I was sat in a coffee shop the other day and a rather attractive lady was sat alone on the table next to me. I thought for half an hour about how to strike up conversation with her in Spanish. I knew I could get my opening gambit over the line, but then I would have to concede that I don't know conversational level Spanish and do an embarrassing retreat in to English. I was still thinking about it long after she left the restaurant, my comfort zone unbreached.