I started thinking
about this blog a long time ago, shortly after playing a drinking game with a
group of people. Out of the five of us, it turns out that three had seriously
contemplated suicide. This shocked me.
I remember
disbelieving my friend at school when he told me that his neighbour had
committed suicide. Suicide's so incredibly rare - I thought - that what's the
chance of him knowing someone who's actually committed it. Whilst I'm
pondering, it occurs to me that 'committing' is a strange word to use - it's
like suicide is a crime or a sin… but then to actually go through with it is a
life-long commitment - so maybe it's not such a strange word to use after all.
More recently, a
friend of mine updated her Facebook status, admitting to depression - an
incredibly brave thing to do, even in today's fairly liberal world. She
received a lot of support, and many other people also admitted to stages of
depression.
So this got me
thinking about depression. I used to think that depression was all internal - a
state of mind that you just have to pull yourself together and get through. I
used to think that people were weak if they weren't able to do this. My
thinking has matured since then. Unfortunately, there are still many people out
there who think that way.
Now I think of life as
a rollercoaster (an old cliché, I know), and it doesn't matter how
"strong" or how "weak" you are, you'll still have your
highs and lows. I think that I wasn't really able to recognise my own highs and
lows when I was younger, though in hindsight, they were definitely there.
Everyone's rollercoaster is different: I'm quite a steady state person - I
don't have high highs and I don't have low lows. (Thankfully, not everyone is
like me, and we have some really colourful characters in our world.)
Perversely, I think that this has driven me to seek my highs in adventure
sports, some of which are inherently dangerous - so although I've never really
contemplated suicide, I've very often put myself in life threatening situations
in order to reach my highs.
Happiness...
I'm forever thinking
about making the world a better place. This often comes across as
environmentalism, but I actually believe that the world will chug along no
matter what we do to it - so my concern is actually to life on the planet
rather than the planet itself. And so my thoughts turn to the quality of the
life on the planet, and rightly or wrongly I choose to measure this quality
with happiness.
I spent an
interesting(!) evening cogitating the ebbs and flows of my own life, writing a
full analysis (including diagrams). I decided not to publish it here as it's
rather too self indulgent and arguably not at all interesting for everyone
other than me. So here's the summary:
In summary, my
happiness revolves around learning, being with great people, being in love,
earning enough money to keep me out of debt, and applying myself to help the
world. (None of this is rocket science - Maslow wrote it all down long before I
did.) Note that spending doesn't feature in there. It's not that I don't enjoy
spending - I bought some new clothes the other day and it made me really happy
- it's just the quantity that I spend and what I spend it on. Which leads me on
to an important discovery that I made this year…
(Political
economics...)
Despite my interest in
politics, I was a little disillusioned about the power of the large
corporations of the world - they seem to have so much more influence in
politics than the voters themselves. But my discovery is this… every penny we
spend is a vote that we cast. If we want to vote for the large corporations
then we buy things from them. If we want to support certain ethics then we buy
things from the people/companies who have those ethics. I always used to look
for the greatest bargain when I shopped - but there's a flaw in this thinking.
If something is cheap, it probably means that there is some kind of neglect at
some point in the supply chain. Slave labour, pollution, corruption. So I've
put my natural financial instincts to the side. Now when I shop I think about
who is getting my money - who am I voting for. That's how I'm going to make the
world a better place. I end up paying a little more for what I want - but I'm a
lot happier with my choices.
Economics…
Given my
interest in economics, it's only fair to think about happiness in monetary
terms as well, given that many people equate money with happiness. Over the
last year of travelling - a year of luxury - I've spent an average of £1200/month.
When I lived and worked in the UK, I spent an average of £1200/month.
The same! Two major differences though - the cost of living is cheaper in South
America - so I've effectively been spending more, and I've not been working. So
theoretically I should have been happier during the last year, right? Well,
yeah it's been a good year, but I still hit some lows. Not working is mixed - I
enjoy having more time to myself, but I also miss working - I enjoy working. I
like to think that I add value to the world - and though it's perfectly
possible to do that without working, I think it's nice to work as well.
